please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
We need to get me chipped asap
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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