Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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