he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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