she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
