i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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