You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
