The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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