he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
