If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize