I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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