I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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