My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
