Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
