I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
