Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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