What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
