turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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