i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
