Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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