youre lurking in front of me
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
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