Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
