I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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