I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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