i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
