so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
