Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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