Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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