If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
