how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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