I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Randomize
