i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize