A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Me. At least after what I've been through.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
