their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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