I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
