her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize
