Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You dont lie about slip and slides
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize