Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
