im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize