awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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