Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Randomize
