The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
