i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
