He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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