He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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