I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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