North Korea, Best Korea!
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
