I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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