Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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