What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
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I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
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Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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