Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Randomize
