never play flip cup with pint glasses
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
