True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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