I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize