Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
