he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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