I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
