Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
