I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
