apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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