I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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