Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
