I wish I only lived at night.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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