I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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