Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
zippers are such a cool invention
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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