yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
