I love black thongs
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
