If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize