My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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