She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
